Bibliothetic Panic

I discovered a new phobia today. I walked into the library, headed straight for the dvd section, and experienced a moment of panic. I had a list of three movies I wanted to watch, but I could not, for the life of me, remember the title of a single book or author that I really wanted to read.

When I realized this, several thoughts went through my head:

“My brain is dying.”

“$60,000 for my education utterly wasted.”

Where did my examined life go?

“When did my delight suddenly become work?”

“Darn it, I thought you didn’t become this static until after babies!”

“When did I go from theorizing about my life to actually just living it?”

“Did retail do this to me or did I just devolve on my own?”

And then me being me, I try to justify myself….

“I’ve been busy”

“I’ve been stressed”

“Who needs Tolstoy anyhow?”

And, my justifications are a miserable failure. Because, gosh darn it, reading is valuable, knowledge it valuable, and reading great books just does good things to your soul. Moreover, I will never be able to write a book worth a darn if I keep limiting my diet to fluff.

So yes, I have lapsed from the true faith, but I’m back! Now I just need to figure out where in my never-ending list to begin……